So Did It Shrink?

We won’t know for 6 months.

“If we looked at an MRI right now, it would lie to us,” said our radiation oncologist, Dr. Redmond. Swelling would appear and seem to indicate tumor growth, but it is too early to tell. We will take an MRI in a month. For now, they take CT scans daily to make sure everything is lined up properly for the treatments. The effects of radiation are cumulative and won’t be known completely until perhaps 6 months from now.

Meanwhile, there have been changes in So Young’s vision. I feel that she sees better, but she isn’t so sure. She seems to read more things that she couldn’t read before. She also notices a few details. She says that she can tell there is a blurry spot in the middle of her eye, with the periphery less effected. The other day, she had an episode where her vision went dark intermittently, like a pulse — on, off, on, off — which was frightening. She is also more sensitive to light these days.

So Young is adjusting to her impairment. She cooked French toast on Christmas morning and fried mandoo (Korean dumplings) this evening.(She needs a helper to cook.)  She ran/walked 2 miles on the treadmill a couple of days ago.

She is exhausted and her emotions are frayed. She cried and slept a lot on the car ride home. She wonders if the radiation didn’t stimulate the emotional part of her brain, but then she considers herself an emotional person anyway. Sometimes, she feels that God has forsaken her. But then she remembers that Christ suffered just as we did. “He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not” (Isiaiah 53:3).

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4 Responses

  1. So Young and James, it was good to see your girls in your “Christmas Card”. We are thinking and praying for your treatment, eye sight and travel safety for your long trip to Hopkins. (The boys too are faithful to pray for “Ms. So Young” on a regular basis.)

  2. It will be an up and down period and we all know that waiting is hard. Emotions go up and down and I’m praying that the emotions will be up most of the time. I think about you guys a lot and pray for you.

  3. He will NEVER forsake you. Not someone he loves so much. He loves you just as much as he loved his son Jesus. Just. As. Much. And you are not alone (even though your brother Jesus felt that alone too. He wasn’t. Neither are you.)

    And you’re not alone because we’re here. And we love you. Crying and sleeping are both completely acceptable outlets of stress, and both also completely acceptable activites for car rides.

    Love you, beautiful precious Ruby.

  4. I think that you are demonstrating strength, courage and faith as you face this crisis.

    God counts your tears.

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